“Mommy, I prayed and said sorry to God for my selfish heart.”
This while I am still stewing over our rough morning. While I am letting anger stir my heart and ruffle my spirits; while I am scrubbing with swift, firm strokes and avoiding her eyes.
At these words I had to stop. I turned to look at her.
Her eyes had lost the stubborn, pouting expression of earlier and now were clear, bright and eager to connect with me.
My heart skipped a beat, and I was immediately humbled. She had reached the point of repentance before I did. She had recognized her failures and reached out her hands for grace. Why was I, the one entrusted to teach her, still stumbling around in my muddy sins? What makes me so reluctant to come before my Saviour with humility and eager longing for his grace?
I have learned so much from these children God has entrusted to me. I know now, why Jesus spoke of a child’s faith. My daughters are so eager to believe! They are so in love with the Jesus they have just met. They are concerned about others, asking… “Does she have God in her heart?”
When they first heard about Jesus death on a cross for us they grieved in a way I have not experienced in a very long time. They love to pray and easily give credit to God for the good things that happen in their lives. They are in awe of the stories in the Bible. They often comment that they are so glad they have come here so that they could learn about God.
Those moments remind me why we’re here and why we chose to adopt our daughters.
But I always imagined myself teaching and instructing them, and though that certainly is a part of it I was completely unprepared for the questions they ask, the prayers they pray, the startling insights and the humility they bring to our discussions.
They are so eager to learn!
I never expected to witness such beautiful faith in my children. I expected to spend years teaching them without seeing a lot of evidence they were truly embracing my faith. Instead, I am in awe as I see that they already have their own personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and that He is present and real in their lives. They have asked Him into their hearts and I truly believe He is dwelling there…teaching, convicting, loving and guiding. This is only the beginning of their journey with their Saviour but I pray that they will never lose the vibrancy they display right now. I hope that they, unlike me, will be eager to reach out in humble repentance for His grace. I hope they will always be in awe of how big and awesome He is!
And today, humbled by my daughter’s words, I am led by a child closer to my Father’s heart.
Thank you, Jesus.