8 Things I Don’t Do That Other Moms Do…and I Don’t Feel Guilty

We can’t do it all.

We all have limits to our time and capabilities.

Sometimes as moms the lines get a little blurry and we find ourselves trying to turn ourselves and our families into people that we just aren’t in our desperate attempts to do it all.

I’m learning that while it’s healthy to be open minded and willing to learn, it’s also really important to know how to prioritize your life and just say no.

The Mom guilt will kick in and you will feel like a horrible person…until you stop and think about all the things that you are doing for your family.

If it’s just not that important to you or it raises your stress level to the point where you are grouching at anyone who moves, it might be time to just say no!

Here are 8 things I just say no to:

  1. Decorating Birthday Cakes – we all do it.  Child’s birthday approaches.  Mom scours Pinterest for the perfect decor, party and cake ideas.  Child tells you their dream birthday cake.  Mom does more research and blood pressure spikes.  A week before the birthday Mom scratches ‘make cake’ off her list and calls DQ instead.  To me, it’s just not worth it.  I don’t do decorating.  I have tried and it doesn’t turn out well.  I will spend the money to have someone else do that for me.
  2. Making Slime – Girl moms, you know what I’m talking about.  Made from glue, Borax, flour….you name it.  Homemade slime is all the rage.  I just don’t do it.  I don’t even have a good excuse, I just hate it.  I hate the mess, I hate it laying around for weeks, I hate seeing my kids sitting there playing with it, I hate looking up recipes for it…I just say no.  I am that mom, who just spoils all the fun and says they can do it with the babysitter or Sunday school or friends.  Not with me.
  3. Bathe my Kids Daily – I used to do this.  We used to have baths every night or at least every other.  Now…well…the goal is every other night but let me tell you it sure doesn’t always happen and I’m not going to sweat the small stuff.  With 4 kids in the house, I just don’t care that much.  I love tucking clean, shampoo smelling little bodies into bed at night but if their feet are still dirty and hair full of sand they sleep just as well.  I’d rather let them play longer than clean them all up just to get dirty again tomorrow.  As long as it’s more than the once a week bath I had as a kid, we’re good 🙂
  4. Buy organic – I read this article once explaining how the label ‘Organic’ can be very deceiving as sometimes it simply means the product was not exposed to any legally restricted chemicals and can therefore be just as harmful or more as it may just have been treated with a new or not yet regulated chemical.  Ever since I stare at the price differences and I just cannot bring myself to buy the organic products.  To take responsibility for myself, I am just plain too lazy to do the work to investigate into how I can know whether the label I am reading is accurate or misleading.  I buy lots of fruits and vegetables, lean meats and stay away from too much canned, packaged or processed foods.  I cook homemade meals regularly and avoid sugary desserts and snacks.  This is how I attempt to feed my family of 6 without going crazy and I’m ok with it.
  5. Sort my laundry – Ok, I do this sometimes but not always.  There are days when I haul it all down and sort it by darks, lights, pinks, fancy clothes and dirty jeans.  And then there are other days where I just take all one kids stuff and stuff it in the machine.  Two hours later I’m folding it all and putting it back in their drawers and my child now has all their clothes cleaned.  I very much doubt it’s going to do more harm to the clothing than the way she slides on her belly on the grass, rubs up against the rock walls she’s climbing and smears Nutella all over the front of her shirt!
  6. Essential Oils – I had really good intentions.  I even bought some off a friend and they’re sitting with a diffuser in my linen closet.  I listened to all the benefits and agonized over which oils might help my FASD children focus, which oils might heal my foster son’s dry skin, which oils might increase brain growth in my son who went through a brain tumour resection last year.  I wondered if lavender would help my daughter sleep better and if oregano would heal my cold sores.  But I just couldn’t bring myself to spend the money and chase after a cure for realities we have fought hard to accept.  No oil is going to cure my children’s neurological differences or erase their trauma or help them sleep perfectly every night.  When I really stop and think…I know this.  And while I certainly believe there are huge benefits that have been proven, it’s not for me.  Just like I don’t do yoga, take Vitamin D all year or eliminate sugar from my children’s diet…I don’t do essential oils.  And I’m just not going to feel guilty about that.
  7. Meal Planning – Again, I tried this.  And I loved the part where you sit down with a fresh new notepad and pen and start writing down your favourite recipes and planning it all out.  But then real life happens and I’m just not in the mood for spaghetti tonight or we decided to go out for pizza instead of making homemade chicken noodle soup or it’s just too dreary and rainy to enjoy a chicken salad with chickpeas.  I also found that I spent a lot more money at the store each week if I planned out all my meals versus flying by the seat of my pants and using whatever I had in the house to concoct a meal.  For some people this works and is a lifesaver.  For me, I just don’t like it and it doesn’t fit my style.
  8. Mend Clothes – Honestly?  My husband keeps a needle and thread in his desk drawer and he mends the buttons on his pants when they fall off.  I just can’t be bothered!  It’s ok, he laughs and me and rather enjoys his little mending sessions so it’s not adversely affecting our marriage if you’re wondering.  My daughters bring out their dresses with ripped bows and falling apart doll clothes to their grandmothers or our neighbour up the street if they want them mended because they know if they ask Mom, it just won’t happen.  I would rather buy a new one than repair an old one.

So there you have it.

The things I don’t do.

No regrets.

No guilt.

Just no.

What things do you just say no to?

~AF